Yep, there it is, I am finally coming to terms with the reality of why I do not keep up on my blog, or any other various "writing" projects (such as my daughters' baby books).
I simply do not like to write!
I wish I did, I really, really want to like writing....
Kind of like I wish I enjoyed running; ...no... more than that....
I know...it's preposterous...I should love writing, it is a way to tell my story, it is a way to connect....but I just don't.
Oh, and I feel guilty about it....I actually do!
Most of my friends and much of my family likes to write, at least they seem to...and are very diligent about it!
I admire people who enjoy writing and are good at it....and I love to read what others have written.
Mind you....I actually LOVE what I have written, after I write...it is just the whole process of writing that I don't really enjoy....
I LOVE the IDEA of writing...in fact I write in my head all the time! I have a romantic idea of all the things I want to write. All the things "worth" writing that are floating in my head at any given moment! It's just the typing it out, or the putting it on paper that gets in my way.
I also LOVE to journal...um; ...but that is to personally process and no one could read it anyway as it is illegible.
I also have ADD when I write, I think of all kinds of things to say, but then having to put them in some sort of order so that the rest of you will know what I am talking about causes an issue...
Why don't I like to write??? Am I too visual? Is it the ADD??
Maybe it's the 100s of 5 paragraph essays through high school and college...maybe they wore me out....
Hmmm....but... I DO LOVE to TALK....so I could try using voice recognition software...if it really works...THEN I might like to "write" !!
So if I ever write a book, I won't be "writing" it myself...
All that to say...I do want to keep up this blog, in fact I have a few blogs I want to do (the romantic ideas continue)....but I need to rethink how to tell a story....
I'm 40...I must start living in reality ;)
Facing what I am good at and love, and what I am not...
Does it ever get easier? Will I know myself better when I am 60?
